Good evening - unless this is the Sunday matinee - in which case it would be more appropriate to say "Good afternoon" - unless of course you are arriving towards the end of the play and the sun is starting to go down, so in that case it would be more along the lines of "Good sunset." In any event…welcome and thank you for giving us not only your time, love, infectious laughter, infectious flu, and cash…but for also giving us something far greater…well not greater than cash - cuz let's be honest, cash rules - but the other cool thing you gave us…was your support for Los Angeles Theatre. As a matter of fact - the cast and crew of SNEAUX! are so proud of you for being here tonight, that we want to give you a rousing standing ovation. Since we are currently backstage putting on our make-up, tightening our dance belts, and stealing stuff out of purses left unattended in the dressing rooms…we sorta can't come out and give you a rousing standing ovation…so instead we ask that you do it for us…go ahead…right now…before the show starts…stand up and applaud enthusiastically - it's our gift back to you.

Many of my six-year-old son's friends ask me - "Stranger, why did you decide to direct SNEAUX!" - the answer is a simple one, I tell them as they continue to paint my house…because no other genre of writing has captivated me more than that of the critically acclaimed "Gothic-Horror-Romance" style made so popular by such writers as Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Faulkner, V.C. Andrews, Steinbeck, Proust, Joyce, and V.C. Andrews. These brave literary giants realistically tackled taboo subjects too taboo to tackle. Who else would stand tall to show that white slavery and incest is still a beautiful and sacred way to say, "I love you…no I really LOVE you."

Like most of you…I was exposed to my first "Gothic-Horror-Romance" storyline in the pages of the Highlights Magazine at my dentist's office as a mere child. For it was within those pages that the saucy and naughty adventures of GOOFUS & GALLANT leaped across the binding…showing me the "love" between two handsome young brothers sometimes can overcome one of them being a total sissy mama's boy and the other being a psychotic serial killer in the making. My next stop on the "Gothic-Horror-Romance" reading train…Judy Blume's FOREVER…nuff said…you all know what I'm talking about…so don't sit there playing stupid…we all read the same pages. From there I graduated up to more hardcore "Gothic-Horror-Romance" reading material… ENCLYCLOPEDIA BROWN, CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC: THE NOVELIZATION, A SEPARATE PEACE, MATT HELM #28, RUMBLE FISH, JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL, WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE?, I'M OKAY YOU'RE OKAY, STEP BY STEP TV SHOW MEMORY SCRAPBOOK, and then finally…one day I read…FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC…I was stunned…shocked… repulsed…yet wildly at peace with myself as the world suddenly made sense to me. That evening, fate lead me to a movie that would also alter my life forever…ICE CASTLES …starring Robby Benson and introducing Lynn-Holly Johnson as "Lexie." Only one piece of the puzzle remained missing…until the day I met Tim Garrick and Lori Scarlett…and from that moment on I understood why "I always felt like I didn't belong." Enjoy the show…and remember…everything you are about to witness is TRUE!